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[ website | Rachel Loveguts ]
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fucking cancer [13 Mar 2005|11:30pm]

My grandfather (on my fathers’ side) is dying- of cancer. About three years ago he had colon cancer, and now it’s spread to his lungs and his brain. He’s decided to not take any medications, seeing as it’s basically ‘too late’ to get the cancer, and make him better. In who knows how long, he won’t be able to communicate with us. His speech is already slurring. This is hell. People who haven’t lost family members** (see below) from cancer, don’t know how much it hurts. It’s so hard to see them lying in their bed, helpless. A lot of cancer patients have good days and bad days. Good days, they can get up, and walk around, eat some, etc. And on bad days they can barely eat, and usually don’t leave the bed. It’s so hard to see my grandfather laying in that bed. That man has always been up and playing outside. He’s always been mobile. The man tried to build a fucking train in his backyard for goodness sakes!
My dads birthday is in a few days. Seven days to be exact. I am terrified that he will pass on his birthday. My dad has had horrid birthdays these past few years. Last year his car was broken into.
Am I being selfish for wanting that?

-Grandma Debbie (who I never got to meet because cancer took her life)
»breast cancer
»lung cancer
»lung and breast cancer at the same time. Eventually killing her. I think she might have had brain cancer towards the end. Died.
-Pops. (my grandfather. Husband of grandma Debbie)
»Pancreatic cancer. Died
-Nanna Donna (Second wife of Pops)
»Ovain cancer. Just finished Chemo. Doing great.
-Lewis (eldest son of Debbie&Pop)
»I don’t know what kind for sure, but it was near his lung I believe. Done with chemo, doing great.
-Marjorie (Youngest DAUGHTER of Debbie&Pops. My mom)
»Breast cancer. Done with chemo years ago. Doing great.
-Granddad (my fathers dad)
»Colon cancer.
»Lung&Brain cancer. Dying. Doing horrible today. Maybe great tomorrow.

I just want at least one of my grandparents to die of old age and not of cancer.
I’m so scared of getting it. I don’t want to die. I want to die.

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[15 Feb 2005|05:38pm]

Well, my birthday is in two days, not including today that is. On Friday, I’m going to Concord Mills with my family. At least, my mom and I are. I don’t know if my sister and dad will come. I was kind of hoping Ross would be working Friday, but he isn’t, so that sucks. But I’m sure I’ll be able to find someone else to talk to I guess.

>I want to hang out with some people, but Jenn is in trouble because her dad is a fuckass. And Pete is spending the weekend at home with Jenn, and I’ll feel bad if I can only hang out with Pete when his sister is at home, being the slave for the fucking lazy dad and mom. And Ross is going out of town again. So on Saturday I’m pretty much going to be doing nothing. So if you want to hang out, let me know.

I don’t want anything from anyone really. Just spending time with me means a lot. And the following is for my reference when I write my thank you cards for family.

    Alan&Robbie: Digital Camera/accessories/better memory card. As well as taking the time to get what Best Buy fucked up. And a cut and color at T.Reid.

    Lewis&Janice: Digital Camera/accessories. As well as 50 dollars.

    Alan&Cathy: Digital Camera/accessories.

    Tom&Judy&Family: Digital Camera/accessories.

If anyone wants to help my friend Jenn and I create our ‘zine. Please let us know. We are looking for anyone in any place in the world to write for us. If you know of any good local bands that deserve to be heard, tell us. Fill out this little information thing about them, and either email it to me, or IM me.

    Bands Name

    Where they hail from

    Webpage</u> (or a place where we can hear some of their music)
      Type of Music

      Band Members

      Years Together/Mini Bio

      How are they live?
    (optional. Basically a show review)
      A picture of them, if you have one.

    If you want to contribute, anything at all, please contact me. PS BANG BANG

    We will have a ‘zine name soon. And you can be a apart of that as well!:


    So yeah, that’s pretty much it now. I’m going to try and update this thing more often. ♥
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PARTY!! [10 Jan 2005|12:04pm]
There will be:
+ BEER! *note* if you drink, you stay at my house for the night!!
+ maybe! just maybe!! an actual BAND!! (OMGZ!!!)
+ CAKE!!
+ ska/punk/etc music
+ CANDY!!!
+ SKA GOODIE BAGS IF YOU WANT ONE!! *note* tell me if you want one. I'm making checkerboard bags.

It's pretty much, if you're invited, you can come. But if you're not on the OMGZ I'M SUPER COOL I'M INVITED TO RACHEL & PETERS SKA PARTY!! then don't show up.

1 comment|post comment

greatestjournal owns my ass [22 Dec 2004|07:18pm]
my new journal on greatestjournal: Media_blackout

because Aus Rotten is thebestest
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I put my hand upon your hip [25 Aug 2004|02:00pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

When I dip, you dip, we dip!

So I bought the Lower Class Brats cd. I can't remember if I already wrote about that though. But I love it. And I listen to it all the time.
ANYWHORE, this morning I went to around the UNCC campus area, ate breakfast with my sister, and got to see KITTIES!!! little baby kittens. They were adorable- even with the one with cancer on it's nose, the cancer has basically eaten a hole where the nose should be.
SO! I go to the DMV tomorrow. This time I SWEAR! I am getting my license. OR ELSE! I shall cry..again.
Still collecting for my "Get Rachel to Indiana by car or train so she can spend your money" fund. I got two bucks so far...from my mom. haha. I need a job. seriously.
SO! Knowing me I'll spend the two bucks on food or something else.
Anyways, I am gonna go off and talk to my new friend, Rich,threeonspeed, who by the way, is awesoemly cool, until I pass out from sleepiness.

5 comments|post comment

FRIENDS ONLY FUCKERS. [06 Aug 2004|02:29pm]


1. If you type like this: I RoX ouT 2 Blink 182 dey iz So HaRd CoRe Punx Rawk. Automatic NO.
2. If you think AFI is old school punk. That would be a FUCK NO!!
3. You're like every other trendy fucker I see on the street.
4. You're a homophobe
5. You're a nazi
6. You're a racist.
7. And please, use proper grammar. Do not butcher the English language.
I'm a fairly nice person. You ask. I might add.
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